First new blog post! After.... many many months. (Last time I wrote something was in... march... oh yikes)

Once again at the very end of the year. Ugh. Let's get into the meat of things I guess.

Not as fun updates

I feel like I really dropped the ball this year when it comes to doing the things I wanted to. Like, re: my last post, I've been pretty mentally boomed about my own art, though not just because of the ai art shit, but also just feeling like everything I make looks so horrible.

It hasn't been so bad that I would call it burn out, because I have no problem starting drawings, it's just finishing them that has been incredibly difficult for some reason. Always at the very last stages of a drawing too, it's incredibly unfortunate and not the best for my mental state. These days I can rarely see where i've improved and where i've stagnated.

Even after taking some (forced) time off I haven't been able to bounce back, as a result I've pretty much cancelled any current (and future) commission work until I can figure out what's wrong. It's such an awful feeling and even though I don't much has really changed, I've been having a hard time calming down when things go wrong.

Regardless though, I've been taking the time to go thru other creative outlets, getting back into baking for the holidays, trying out some embroidery with plush dolls, probably going to try working on some emote work again for streams, and I started doing... this! *gestures at the website*

I decided to try doing stuff on neocities! Partly because I ditched my old ghost.io blog, but also to just try something new.

I will admit, it is pretty tedious, I have no idea how I had this kind of patience when I was x years old for customizing my MySpace and Livejournal pages... I hate being old.

Anyways, everything except for the gallery and the link page are up and running, once the gallery is up i'll consider this place more or less complete as I learn more of the ins and outs of sprucing this place up.

Onto the nice things!

Otherwise known as the things that made me happy this year!

Holopro (tho mostly Holostars if i'm being honest)!: Honestly this year more than ever I'm so grateful I can watch so many of these talents grow and branch out. From the introduction of Tempus Vanguard really early this year, To Hoshimachi Suisei's second live concert, to the team TSB VSaikyo arc, Tempus week, Tokoyami Towa's first solo concert (I cried. A lot.) and all the way to the debut of Armis... I dunno, they provided me a lot of escape and comfort when I kept isolating myself. I know it's really silly but idk what I would have done this year if I didn't have these things to look forward to.

Overwatch League (rip): I know this is probably the weirdest thing on here but, as someone who followed the league from the first day of matches, all the way to the week all the orgs started tweeting about heir disbandment, it's hard to dismiss how much fun it gave me. The last grand finals of the Overwatch League as well as the Overwatch World Cup was insanely fun to watch (though I wish there were differnt winners for the World Cup. *ahem*) and despite how many people I used to talk to frequently have outgrown watching it, I had a lot of fun watching along with the people who stuck around. Who knows what the future looks like for the OW esport scene but, I hope it ends up being just as fun.

My twin and roommate: Honestly, despite my anxiety being at a steady high this year, I actually made the effort to go out more with them. All thanks to my little household! I know we sometimes disagree and butt heads with each other but, all the time we spent actually going out and exploring different parts of the city and shops we didn't even know exist has been so good for the mind. I'm not really the time to want to go out often and even when I do I tend to be at the cusp of too nervous to enoy myself, but i'm so glad they were there by my side to push me into going out more and having fun!

Blog plans

Honestly, I still pretty much still want to write some things down about the media I consume, but I think having a few diary entries wouldn't be too bad either.

I might go back to the blog posts I imported from my old blog to fix some of the images and formatting but ehhh, that will be a problem for me at some point down the line.

cya!